Never should have made fun of Katie Holmes

Last week, I received in the mail my very own Hi Bebe Heart Rate Monitor. Yes, I bought an at-home doppler heart rate monitor. Now, it's not my very own, personal ultrasound machine. But it's close - and for this, I apologize to Katie Holmes for making fun of her freakiness when she was pregnant with Suri and had an ultrasound machine installed in her home. Honestly, if I had Tom Cruise money, I would do it, well, in a heartbeat.

Sometimes, it's difficult to find the heartbeat. My pulse seems to get in the way - I can hear the faint rapid beats behind my thunderous slow beats. Other times, I hear it right away. It's always pretty fast - 155 bpm, which if the wives' tales are correct, indicated it's a girl in there. I'm just saying.

It's been good that I've had it because for the last 2 days I've been sicker than anyone should be with a flu bug that no one else in my family seems to have contracted. When I couldn't sleep because of the nausea or the weird pains in the back of my thighs, I retraced my steps, trying to figure out who's germy hand I shook that no one else in my family touched. I was worried about the baby in the beginning of the illness because I had a fever of 102 - I figured that could be bad for a fetus-y sized thing. The fever broke quickly, and luckily I had my Hi Bebe Heart Rate Monitor, because I could still see that the kid's heartbeat was a solid 155, even when I was puking up a lung.

My doctor told me I was doing everything right - just don't get dehydrated and call him if I get back over 101.5. I think it's just about done, though. The one positive from this Martian Death Flu is I discovered VitaminWater! Hurray! Where have you been my whole life? Oh, down aisle 6? Good to know - I'll visit you often!