A Walk in the Park

Almost daily the Ritchie family goes on the same walk through Horizon View park. We run down the hill, while Charlie says, "Down?!" on continuous repeat. We cut through the tennis courts. Run up the hill while Charlie says, "Up?!" again on repeat.



Find the "C". Charlie says "C!" usually no less than 5 times. Then we run, usually with Charlie on Jason's shoulders, to the path. Charlie then picks up wood chips and throws them three or four times. Then he runs down the hill again, this time at full-speed into the waiting open arms of his daddy. Then Charlie holds our hands as we swing him into the air on the count of three. Charlie will then start to resist attempts of walking and lays down on the asphalt. Jason picks him up and carries his sqirming body to the car. All the while, Boo is behaving like the perfect dog, except for the glares he shoots us as he thinks, "Why did you bring this incorrigable creature into our lives?"

Enjoy the pics. I ran out of space on the memory card after the "C" sighting. Oh, Charlie insisted on wearing the backpack this time. Usually, like Boo, he's leash-free.

Museum of Flight

A couple weeks ago, we spent a Friday afternoon at the Museum of Flight. We quickly found out that Charlie would have been just as happy to spend the day at the Museum of Open Spaces and Elevators. We had fun nonetheless.

Check out the awesome pics here.

All Gone

Yesterday I had a D&C. It's definitely weird. The procedure itself wasn't bad, actually, because I chose to go totally under anesthesia. I was uncomfortable with this at first, because it seemed a little extreme. But after messaging with people online who have already been through it, I was convinced it was the way to go.

I was wheeled into the operating room and moved to a fixed table. The anesthesiologist told me she was "giving me a margarita" and two seconds later I was gone - in the deepest sleep I've slept in a long long time. I woke up an hour later not freaked out or anything. I was put under when I had jaw surgery in high school and I woke up all in a panic that they were just halfway through. So I announced to everyone, "I'm awake, I'm awake," to let them know it was time to put the drill down. I guess that was my last thought before going under. This time, though, I woke up peacefully.

I was sore. They gave me painkillers in my IV. Eventually they wheeled me into the recovery room. I had three nurses taking care of me - one made me toast with butter; one got me a heating pad; and the third got me a vicodin. I could have stayed there all day. But about an hour later I felt well enough to get up and get dressed. Jase and Charlie came to get me and we all went home.

Charlie and I took a nap and I slept on and off throughout the night. Today I'm sore - they said that it would feel like cramps but it doesn't. It feels like someone punched me from the inside. I've been taking vicodin that I got for a rib injury, plus ibuprofen and using a heating pad. It kind of sucks.

I'm not sure if I'm being wimpy or if this is a hard thing to deal with. A friend of mine told me that her friend just had one done - she wasn't put under and the next day she went to the zoo. I ain't going to no zoo. And I read somewhere that if you have this done, ibuprofen should suffice with the pain. Well it's not sufficing over here. I'm gonna call my doctor tomorrow to see what's up with that. So like I said, I could just be a wuss. But it's not like this was just a pap smear. Whatever.

So many of my friends have been so great the last few days. Monica came over and took care of Charlie while Jase and I went in yesterday. I don't know what I would have done without her. We don't have family out here - so when you have a friend you can rely on like your sister, well, it means a lot. Also, all my moms from preschool pulled through - especially Joanne, who left a whole dinner in a cooler on the front steps of our house. How nice is that? The preschool moms know how to rally around a person and help them out for sure.

Jason really has been the person saving the day lately. He's been the primary caregiver to Charlie, while working and making sure I'm comfortable. We're both a little confused and sad about everything. But we're getting through it together.

And Charlie. Thank god he's so full of life. He makes it hard to wallow. When something is done, he waves his hands back and forth across his body and says, "All gone! All gone!" Well, after yesterday, it's all gone. And it's time to move forward.

Bad News

I went to the doctor on Friday to get my first ultrasound. I was joking around with my doctor about how sick I've been and there better not be twins in there. We were chitchatting through the exam, laughing and small-talking about the baby.

"Now for the best part," she said as she brought out the wand for the ultrasound. She began the exam and I noticed she got really quiet.

"What's going on?" I asked, knowing exactly what was happening.

"I'm just looking at the fetus."

Uh oh. The baby is now the fetus.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Well, I don't see a heartbeat."

"That's not good," I responded.

"No. It's not good."

She sent me to the heavy-duty ultrasound people in the next building to confirm what she already knew. The fetus is dead.

My response was... weird, is the best way to describe it. I've had two miscarriages prior to this and I was really upset both times. This time, though, I was both numb and relieved. Prior to this appointment, I was thinking about how I just screwed everything up by getting pregnant again. My sleep pattern is regular. Charlie's halfway through the 5-year intense parenting window before he goes to school. And I was worrying that Charlie wouldn't feel special with a baby around. Probably things all 2nd time moms think about. So when I heard I wasn't, in fact, going to have another baby, I wasn't really sad at all.

Before this, Jason's mom told me she didn't feel like she had a family until her second child was born. But I've never felt like that. Charlie is enough for me. And if he's all I get, believe me I'll be more than satisfied with that.

We're going to hold off trying again. We're gonna get a bunch of tests done to see if it's even responsible of us to get pregnant again. There could be some messed-up genetic thing happening, and Charlie could be an even bigger miracle than he already is. I always felt like I was getting away with something with Charlie. This whole thing confirms it.

I was more sad and less relieved Saturday morning. And even more so on Sunday, Mother's Day. But Jase and Charlie got me cards that made me cry and flowers and my favorite McDonald's breakfast and the most perfect digital photo frame and overall it was a great day.

Tuesday I go in for the D&C. And then, back to our life - the three of us.

Is March 24 Someone's Birthday? Anniversary?

A few weeks ago, I was really hating Jason something fierce. Everything he said drove me absolutely crazy. He was like an itch on that part of your back that you can't quite reach. Like getting all comfortable in bed after a hard day's work and realizing you have to pee. Like getting an email from someone who wrote everything IN ALL CAPS!!!

That's when I knew. A couple of days later, my boobs confirmed it for me.



Knocked up again, baby! Some of you know this is the second time this year I've been pregnant. Jason has super sperm! I was pregnant in January but that one didn't go the distance. This one, though, is looking like it has staying power. Because I feel like total shit.

The morning sickness, which as the fellow mommas in the house know is really all-freakin-day-long sickness, just sucks. I can't remember if I was this sick with Charlie - if I was, then I have a fierce case of the denials working - cuz if I kept this in the forefront of my little tiny mind, I would have my ass on a plane to Vietnam, following the footsteps of Saint Angelina Jolie.

I went to the doctor, who confirmed it happily - they were the ones who also had the pleasure of confirming the miscarriage in January so they were extra happy, and they calculated my due date - December 16th. The same exact day that Charlie was due 3 years ago. She said, "So you conceived around March 24th? Is that one of your birthdays? Or your anniversary?"

Hee hee. It's not, by the way. Just weird coincidence.

So there you go. I'm only 8 weeks along. I was gonna wait until the first trimester passed before telling but frankly I feel like total crap and since I have to suffer feeling like this, you have to suffer by listening to me bitch about it. Ask Jason who has the worst role in this relationship.

I'm gonna go eat Oreos now because as my mom told me when I was pregnant with Charlie, "They taste the same coming up as they do going down." Words of maternal wisdom.